Surrender.

The other evening I was driving back into Nashville on 440.  As I drove, I noticed a bird on the side of the road---it had fallen on its back and was trying furiously to flap its wings to get back up.  The more it fought, the wearier yet more frantic it became.  My heart immediately was drawn to helping it, though there was no way I could stop and put it back into flight.  I quickly put this odd incident to the back of my mind.  Then this afternoon I was on a coffee date with my good friend Meg Bess, and I waited for her at a table in the back of Frothy Monkey.  My eyes were suddenly attentive to a fly that had landed on its back on the floor.  My mind flashed to the bird on 440. “Lord, what are you trying to teach me?”  I watched as the fly fought uselessly…it kicked so hard that it was literally spinning in circles on its back, yet made no progress in getting back up.

God told me that too often when we surrender ourselves to Him and His will, we still try to fight.  But in all our fighting back, we make no progress and don’t rest on our backs when we need to.  God told me that sometimes we need to be on our backs.  And to simply rest in Him, to sit at His feet and let Him be our teacher before we take off in flight.  For when we still fight to keep a bit of our own will, we wear ourselves out and are even further from flying than when we rest and allow God to work in us.  Our self-sufficiency will never lead to the power and love of God manifested in our lives. 

We must learn to, as Heidi Baker says, be “fully dependent on the One who is always dependable.”  In Acts 17:28, it is written that, “in Him we live and move and have our being.”  This is only possible when we fully surrender to Him, becoming completely dependent on Christ to lead us, teach us, and equip us. 

As I’ve been reading Heidi Baker’s book, Compelled by Love, it’s challenged me to let go of my own self-sufficiency more.  As she writes, “The love of God manifested through you is what people really need.  So you must first see His face.  You must become so close to His very heartbeat that you can feel what others feel.  I want to live as if I am hidden in His very heart, where His thoughts become my thoughts and His ways become my ways.  This is how we will reach the world.”  My own love, my own will, my own power is not sufficient to truly impact people or point them to the transforming love of Jesus.  Only by Him in me can any of that occur. 

Too often, we’re like the son that Rob Bell discusses in his NOOMA video “Shells.”  Bell talks about his son, who saw a starfish floating in the water one day at the beach.  “Go get it buddy, it’s yours!” Bell tells his son.  So his son dashes into the water, but quickly turns back in frustration.  “Go ahead, it’s right there! It’s yours!” he encourages the young boy.  His son turns and charges ahead, but once again gives up in frustration.  “What’s wrong?  It’s right in front of you! Just grab it! You’ve got it, it’s there!” Bell calls out.  The son, getting upset, replies, “I can’t!” and raises his hands out of the water to reveal that they’re full of shells.  Bell elaborates, saying that too often we have hands full of shells---full of good things we can invest our time in, perhaps even Godly things---but there is a starfish, a divine purpose and calling right in front of us that too often we pass up for mere shells.

God has whispered to me lately, “Megan, this summer, this season of your life, is a time for you to sit at my feet. Surrender. Just sit. Rest.  Let me teach you.  Drop your shells, I’m the starfish you’re aiming for.  Fix your eyes on Jesus.  Let this alone be your goal---til you only dwell in Me, and I dwell in you.  You can do nothing apart from me.  Your heart is Mine.  Seek Me first.  Trust Me.”

I love the word “dwell.”  It’s a fascinating concept in the Bible; we must abide in Him and Him in us.  It goes both ways.  Psalm 91:1 and 9/10 say, “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty…because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling.”  It’s a choice to make the Lord our dwelling place; and He choices to dwell in us as well.  Ephesians 3:17 says, “Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.” Ephesians 2:22 speaks of, “being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.”  It’s a mutual indwelling. 

I pray that we will learn to wholly surrender ourselves to God, that the very nature of Jesus will be manifested in us and that we will experience the fullness of joy that comes with dwelling in Him.  Surrender doesn’t just mean to lay down ourselves, but to give up fighting for our own will and self-sufficiency as well.  And when that happens, rest comes.  Freedom comes.  Intimacy comes.  Trust comes. 

His Spirit will come to us, teach us, love us, prepare us. 

May we only dwell in Thee.