Choices.

Here’s the thing I’m finding that I really love/hate about life lately: choices.  I can barely choose a shampoo, let alone the course of my life.  In His lovingkindness, God gave us free will instead of making our decisions for us, and while I am so thankful for being given a facet of His creative nature in the act of choosing, I have also felt the weight of that responsibility recently. 

Our choices are all spurred on by motivations- to be loved, to feel loved, to feel worthy, to feel good, to feel like we made a difference, to feel important, to feel put together, to feel good enough…you get my drift.  Our choices are spurred on by whatever concept of our identity we are clinging onto. 

Conrad Gilles wrote, "If you focus on good behavior you will get law and religion. If you focus on identity, you will get good behavior."

In this post-grad season of life, I’ve had to make a lot of choices.  In the midst of the crucible of massive life changes and transitions, I’ve made some decisions I’m proud of, and some I wish I could delete and rewrite.   Through it all though, I have been overwhelmed with this revelation: God continues to choose us, over and over and over again.  That’s the thing about really unconditional love- it’s choosing someone repeatedly, for all that they are, for all their choices.

This unbelievable rest flows into my spirit when I realize that my identity is grounded in that of a daughter who is chosen, over and over and over again, no matter what my choices are.  His love is steadfast, unwavering, unchanging.  His fights for my wholeness. He hates sin for me, not against me.  And when my choices reflect my brokenness and human hunger more than the spirit of a redeemed and whole child of the King, He doesn’t desire to heap pain and guilt on my shoulders; Jesus already bore that on the cross.  When my choices are lackluster or even sinful, He sends conviction and love to draw me back to His presence, back to His wholeness, back to life-giving choices and ways back into freedom.

So take heart, dear ones. God has chosen and will continue to choose you, in spite of whatever choices come your way.

He chose you long before your first breath, when you lived as but a dream in His longing heart.

May this revelation root itself deeply in our spirits, and may it help us to make life-giving choices that glorify the One who never ceases to choose us.