Abide.

I’ve been really drawn to the book of 1 John lately, and it’s incredible how many times the Apostle John uses the word “abide.”   Abide means “to continue in a place; to remain stable or in a fixed state.”  Some definitions even add, “to wait for.”  It’s interesting, I always thought that abide meant, “to remain in.”  But these aforementioned definitions obviously connote something much deeper.  Abiding in Christ requires complete trust; no fear, no striving.  1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.  But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” 

When we abide in Christ, we gain a sense of security.  When we abide, we trust and know the intimate character of God; He is “God with us,” Immanuel.  He is our provider, our Redeemer, our Strength, our Peace.  We know that He is for us.  He protects us.  He knows the best plan for our lives, and He uses all things together for our good.  He has our best interests at heart.  He loves us with an everlasting love. 

Sounds incredible, right?  It is!  But why is it often difficult “to wait for” the Lord? 

Fear. And striving.

Let’s start with striving.  This comes from not understanding God’s character as our Father.  Many have this idea of standards, that God requires a certain level of work before we’re good enough to earn more of Him.  We sometimes fear that we’ll never be as spiritually mature as those around us.  Or, in another direction, we strive to make God cooperate with our own desires.  Too frequently Christians say, “Hey Lord, will you please bless my will?  I think I know better than You.”  Here’s the thing:  if we’re abiding in Christ and His will, it’s ALREADY blessed.  Abiding means sacrificing our comfort zones and false securities for the only sense of security that will ever produce Life in us: abiding in Christ.

I believe that if we truly, deeply sought out the heart of God, none of us could help but trust Him and follow Him wholeheartedly.  We wouldn’t fear that He doesn’t desire us or fear that He’s a wrathful, angry Lord who can never be satisfied.  The other night during worship at church, I had a really sweet, tender encounter with God.  The sermon that night had been about abiding in the Vine.  When we abide in the Vine (Jesus) we get nutrients from the Source (God).  We bear fruit when we’re being filled from the Source.  It not something we have to strive for; if we’re in Christ, we simply rest and receive what we need.  We wait for the Lord, i.e. abide, to receive what He desires to give us.

The thing about abiding that drives Christians in the Western world crazy is the fact that abiding means to rest, to surrender, to wait.  To trust, and not rush.  That’s hard to digest in a society such as ours. 

As I went into worship that night, I examined my heart.  I told God that I didn’t want to come to take from Him, but to simply adore Him.  His love for me is so provident, so overwhelming, so perfect, and I just desire to know Him and be more like Him.  I set my heart on giving Him all my affections for the first time in a long time.  I told Him, “You are worthy of all my adoration and praise.  I trust You.  I rest in You.  Let my heart and life be pleasing to You.”  As I did so, I sensed His presence behind me.  I had this vision of Him putting a crown/anointing of leadership on my head, but I drew back, questioning Him.  “Father, I’m not ready, my heart is barely in a place that gives You the worship You deserve.  Why would you give this to me?  I’m not ready yet, I need more of You.”  His response astounded me: “Your heart is fully set on Me and your hands are fully open to Me and My will; this is the posture of a heart that I can work through.”    After all of my striving and trying to earn His blessing, I realized something that seems like such an elementary truth…God doesn’t need our works.  He desires our hearts.  Our love.  Isn’t the first commandment to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, all our minds, all our souls, and all our strength?

God responded to my questioning with this: “As long as you keep this posture of seeking, trusting, and loving Me, I will work in and through you.” 

Think of it this way:  healthy relationships are comprised of desiring the other person’s good above our own, of adoration and encouragement, of correcting and challenging, of delighting in the other person’s joy, etc.  This is what our relationship with God should look like.  We must abide in Christ.

Do you feel like you’re not really sure of the character of God? Do you desire to really know His heart toward you?

Abide.

Psalm 125: 1 says, “Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever.”

John 15:5 says, “I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”

John 15:9 says, “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.”

1 John 4:16 says, “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”

I feel like I’m only scratching the surface on this topic of abiding…let’s go in for the depths of Him, brothers and sisters.

hunger, release, and peace.

Just as what you consume affects your wellbeing, what you are filling your spirit with affects your very soul. It’s only human that we hunger and thirst spiritually for fulfillment, for approval, for love. And even if you are already a “Christian,” how desperately do we direct our yearnings toward God? How often do we still settle on self-sufficiency rather than running with wholehearted abandonment toward the One who is always constant, always faithful, always dependable, the only satisfaction for our needy souls?

Deuteronomy 8:3 says, “He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” I’m in such a season, where God is teaching me to rid myself of self-sufficiency, of my own feeble attempts to determine my proper spiritual diet, and He is allowing me to fully feast on the very depths on His heart. It’s the most beautiful lesson, and I relate so much to Hosea 2:14, which says, “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her.” Do you feel God alluring you into the wilderness with Him? GO. So often He will tenderly call us to times of rest in Him, to simply spend our time sitting at His feet, leaning in to hear His sweet voice teach us. One of the greatest lies the enemy wants us to believe is that God delights more in our servitude than our desire for Him. How much of the body of Christ’s mentality is still that of a Martha versus a Mary (Luke 10:38-42)? He causes us to hunger and thirst to draw us gently unto Himself, the only One who can satisfy.

I love this Sue Monk Kidd quote: “Letting go is like releasing a tight spring at the core of yourself, one you’ve spent your whole life winding and maintaining. When you let go, you grow still and quiet. You learn to sit among the cornstalks and wait with God.” When I let down my defenses, my attempts at self-preservation, I just lean, I fall into the restful embrace of Christ. He whispers, “I’m in control. Trust me. I love you. I have your best interests at heart. Fix your eyes on Me and on nothing else. Run to My voice. I am Your goal, and I am the One that gives you your each breath as you run this race. I’m your Father, I relentlessly pursue you and I promise to never let you go. Hold fast to Me. Be obedient in each step I illuminate, I promise to get you home. I know your heart. Trust me; I love you wholly. I am constant.” When I let go of control, of the reigns, of the steering wheel, and cry out for God to fill me and feed me with what He knows I need, peace comes.

In Psalm 63:1, David cries out, “O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” David was most assuredly a man after God’s own heart. His life was a magnificent display of the grace, love, and power of God. Why? Because David recognized his hunger, his need, his dependence on God and God alone to sufficiently satisfy his deep spiritual hunger. In John 6:35, Jesus says, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” We have to decide to come to Jesus to be fed fully. And as Heidi Baker says, “We must press into His presence and be filled with His real fresh food every day or we will grow stale.” We will be spiritually malnourished if we don’t keep seeking Him daily. As Smith Wigglesworth stated, "If you are in the same place today as you were yesterday, you are a backslider." There is no end to the depth of God, of the love of Christ; there is no reason why we should not be desperate for more and more of Him.

God is the Creator of the universe, the Love of our souls---we should all delight in the fact that we have intimate access to relationship with Him, just as Smith Wigglesworth did. He said that every morning, “I jump out of bed! I dance before the Lord for at least 10 to 12 minutes - high speed dancing. I jump up and down and run around my room telling God how great he is, how wonderful He is, how glad I am to be associated with Him and to be His child." I want to be so full by feasting on God’s presence and Word that I overflow with thanksgiving and love for Him; how often do I leave Him lower on my list of affections. He is worthy of all my devotion, all my affection, all my love, all my dependence, all my praise and all my heart.

Don’t grow stagnant.

Don’t settle.

Don’t dim.

Catapult yourself into His arms. Matthew 7:7-8 says, “"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” God delights in revealing Himself to us, to providing for us, and He gives good and gracious gifts of Himself to those who ask. Hunger is an escort, as Misty Edwards sings, to the deeper things of God. It is meant to allure us to Him. Blessed are you who hunger and thirst, for you will be filled. Be hungry. Daily. Turn to Him. “Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

Let go.

Lean in. 

He’s right here. He always is.

Surrender.

The other evening I was driving back into Nashville on 440.  As I drove, I noticed a bird on the side of the road---it had fallen on its back and was trying furiously to flap its wings to get back up.  The more it fought, the wearier yet more frantic it became.  My heart immediately was drawn to helping it, though there was no way I could stop and put it back into flight.  I quickly put this odd incident to the back of my mind.  Then this afternoon I was on a coffee date with my good friend Meg Bess, and I waited for her at a table in the back of Frothy Monkey.  My eyes were suddenly attentive to a fly that had landed on its back on the floor.  My mind flashed to the bird on 440. “Lord, what are you trying to teach me?”  I watched as the fly fought uselessly…it kicked so hard that it was literally spinning in circles on its back, yet made no progress in getting back up.

God told me that too often when we surrender ourselves to Him and His will, we still try to fight.  But in all our fighting back, we make no progress and don’t rest on our backs when we need to.  God told me that sometimes we need to be on our backs.  And to simply rest in Him, to sit at His feet and let Him be our teacher before we take off in flight.  For when we still fight to keep a bit of our own will, we wear ourselves out and are even further from flying than when we rest and allow God to work in us.  Our self-sufficiency will never lead to the power and love of God manifested in our lives. 

We must learn to, as Heidi Baker says, be “fully dependent on the One who is always dependable.”  In Acts 17:28, it is written that, “in Him we live and move and have our being.”  This is only possible when we fully surrender to Him, becoming completely dependent on Christ to lead us, teach us, and equip us. 

As I’ve been reading Heidi Baker’s book, Compelled by Love, it’s challenged me to let go of my own self-sufficiency more.  As she writes, “The love of God manifested through you is what people really need.  So you must first see His face.  You must become so close to His very heartbeat that you can feel what others feel.  I want to live as if I am hidden in His very heart, where His thoughts become my thoughts and His ways become my ways.  This is how we will reach the world.”  My own love, my own will, my own power is not sufficient to truly impact people or point them to the transforming love of Jesus.  Only by Him in me can any of that occur. 

Too often, we’re like the son that Rob Bell discusses in his NOOMA video “Shells.”  Bell talks about his son, who saw a starfish floating in the water one day at the beach.  “Go get it buddy, it’s yours!” Bell tells his son.  So his son dashes into the water, but quickly turns back in frustration.  “Go ahead, it’s right there! It’s yours!” he encourages the young boy.  His son turns and charges ahead, but once again gives up in frustration.  “What’s wrong?  It’s right in front of you! Just grab it! You’ve got it, it’s there!” Bell calls out.  The son, getting upset, replies, “I can’t!” and raises his hands out of the water to reveal that they’re full of shells.  Bell elaborates, saying that too often we have hands full of shells---full of good things we can invest our time in, perhaps even Godly things---but there is a starfish, a divine purpose and calling right in front of us that too often we pass up for mere shells.

God has whispered to me lately, “Megan, this summer, this season of your life, is a time for you to sit at my feet. Surrender. Just sit. Rest.  Let me teach you.  Drop your shells, I’m the starfish you’re aiming for.  Fix your eyes on Jesus.  Let this alone be your goal---til you only dwell in Me, and I dwell in you.  You can do nothing apart from me.  Your heart is Mine.  Seek Me first.  Trust Me.”

I love the word “dwell.”  It’s a fascinating concept in the Bible; we must abide in Him and Him in us.  It goes both ways.  Psalm 91:1 and 9/10 say, “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty…because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling.”  It’s a choice to make the Lord our dwelling place; and He choices to dwell in us as well.  Ephesians 3:17 says, “Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.” Ephesians 2:22 speaks of, “being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.”  It’s a mutual indwelling. 

I pray that we will learn to wholly surrender ourselves to God, that the very nature of Jesus will be manifested in us and that we will experience the fullness of joy that comes with dwelling in Him.  Surrender doesn’t just mean to lay down ourselves, but to give up fighting for our own will and self-sufficiency as well.  And when that happens, rest comes.  Freedom comes.  Intimacy comes.  Trust comes. 

His Spirit will come to us, teach us, love us, prepare us. 

May we only dwell in Thee.  

Southern summer nights.

My Tweet from last night read: “perfect Southern summer night... I'm so enamored by God's attention to the desires of my heart. His love humbles me.”  There’s something about coasting through the hills of Tennessee that invigorates my spirit; it brings me back to summer mission trips in the South, specific occasions when I was so attentive to the wooing of God and my heart.  Last night the warm air and beautiful sunset were the backdrop as we drove out of the city and into the captivating countryside surrounding Nashville in pursuit of the renown Loveless Café.  The drive is about 20 to 30 minutes from our campus near downtown, and that was plenty enough time to be refreshed by Betsy’s parents’ regaling stories.  Nights like that are the ones that warm my heart and make me fall more in love with the South every day.  The Loveless was delightful…home-cooked Southern goodness in the most picturesque corner of countryside.  The atmosphere was so relaxed and homey.  Betsy’s dad told me endless stories about shooting guns and hunting, which made me miss my good friend Andrew.  It was endearing to see Betsy’s parents interact too, the sweet way they joked and complimented one another.  Most of all it was just lovely to not have a care in the world…no pressing time commitments or responsibilities…just comfort food and fellowship.  My heart was completely at ease and restful.  As we drove back to Nashville down Highway 100, hundreds of fireflies lit the surrounding woods and pastures.   It was a night that my heart felt immense peace and joy. 

I find myself thinking about how God whispered to Elijah.  God wasn’t in the wind, earthquake, or fire, but spoke in a whisper.  That’s what I felt tonight.  God whispered to my heart, “This is the life I want to give you.  Don’t you see?  With every sweet moment of rest you feel, I’m washing you with My waves of peace.  Come to Me.  This is Me wooing you, pursuing you.  I want to make your life even fuller than this.” 

I wholeheartedly believe that my relationship with God is a Divine Romance.  Tonight made me feel like I did two summers ago, when I miraculously had the opportunity to spend a month in Europe.  Every day was filled with wonder and splendor, and not a day passed that I wasn’t in awe of the God who opened doors for me that I don’t deserve to even lay eyes upon.  That’s His love and grace in action though---His love is perfect.  It isn’t relative, like mine is so often.  Whether I’m obedient or far from Him, He loves me with a steadfastness that I cannot grasp.  Nothing I could do could make Him love me less.  He freely gives me good gifts. I love that the “honeymoon phase” of my relationship with Christ never ends.  He continually makes all things new and knows the desires of my heart better than I do, and woos me to Him over and over again.  Even in my longing, He comes in with a satisfaction so gentle and perfect.  Because He was broken once, not a thing in me is broken, and more than that, He pursues intimacy with me.  Isn’t that simply wild to think about? 

I’m incredibly excited for what God has in store for this summer.  He’s told me that it’s a season of refreshing, and a time of consecration to Him.   Already it’s proving to be just what my heart needs.  As I look out my window at the skyline of Nashville, I’m blown away by His providence in my life; to think that I have my housing paid for and a wonderful job interacting with people floors me.  Most college students are back home, working hard, minimum wage food industry jobs.  I have a conference assistant job that allows me ample time to read, relax, and rejuvenate in God’s presence…in Nashville, with some of my best friends and an amazing community.  My heart could burst with gratefulness.  What makes me so deserving?  Nothing.  His perfect love sees no requirements.  It just loves, gives, nurtures.  Isn’t that crazy?  His love constantly challenges me to reevaluate my own feeble attempts to love.  Think about it: even if my heart is not set on Him, even if I’m prideful or at times disobedient, God’s love remains the same.  He stays the same through the ages.  Yes, He loves it when I love Him first and foremost and seek Him wholeheartedly, but if I’m not doing that He still loves me the same.  My love for others isn’t like that.  I’m sensitive and easily hurt if someone doesn’t show the same affection I give back.  But God, He just LOVES His children.  How about you?  How do you love your brothers and sisters in Christ?  Are we exuding the same grace and love we are shown by Jesus?  It’s challenging, and humbling to truly reflect on.  As God loves me, I’m learning what authentic love looks like.  I’m stoked to learn from God more and more this summer.  I suppose this blog is just a preview of what is to come…and I hope you will all join me for this beautiful journey. :)  I’m working on my love for others…and trying to love, give, and nurture those around me as freely and graciously as God demonstrates for me.