God is creative with getting my attention.
This past Friday night I was sitting in a friend’s room when the curtain above his window fell…on top of me. I disregarded it as unfortunate. Then a few days later, while I sat on my bed one afternoon studying, my curtain hooks came undone, sending my curtain rod down with a fierce thud. Light gloriously pierced into the dim lighting of my room. I let out a shriek from the shock of it. As I was telling another one of my friends about it, she reminded me that she had been trying to talk with me about a song she has been writing about the veil being torn when Jesus died on the cross.
I’d been so caught up in my schedule and stress that I wasn’t taking time to listen to God’s gentle---or rather, abrupt---whispers surrounding me.
I sat in my room for a while staring at my massive, exposed window that is typically softened by a plum curtain. What was He trying to tell me? As I reflected on Jesus and the veil being torn, He started to work on my heart.
So often we put up veils, or curtains, in our relationship with God. Though the true veil is actually torn and we have full access to God’s presence because of Jesus, many of us resurrect veils that in turn separate us from experiencing His fullness. Whether that be pride, stress, relationships, work, anger, our sense of comfort an security, or whatever---the veils we put up flaunt a message that they are more important, more pressing, than pursuing the heart of God and His Kingdom. I relate to this. As I looked at the exposed glass with radiant light streaming in, I went to look at it more closely. It was dusty, and there were dead bugs that had been in the panes for probably fifty years. I took some time to clean my window. It shined more brilliantly than ever. Our relationships with God are like that. Sometimes we have to tear down the curtains we put up to see what lies behind it, the issues that keep us from trusting His character and will wholly. When we let down our will and our control, we can work with God to root out the dust and dead bugs of our heart. When this is accomplished, His glory can be seen in and upon us. We become pure vessels for Him to dwell in. We attune ourselves to His voice, His leading. When we seek His presence, He ALWAYS shows up.
Here’s the thing that never ceases to astound me. God sees treasure in our dirty windows and broken vessels. He pursues us, seeking us out, even when it means He has to tear down our curtains…literally and spiritually. WE are His treasure, in any state we’re in. Luke 12: 34-35 says that, “Where your treasure is your heart will be also.” God’s heart is with US because WE are His treasure. Where is your treasure? Where is your heart? Seriously examine yourself here. I love Jesus, of course, but lately my treasure has been my schoolwork, my relationships, my sense of security. That’s where my heart has been. But I am God’s treasure, and He pulled my back into my only eternal treasure---my relationship with Him, my time in His presence, giving Him full authority and control over and in my life.
He’s been putting Isaiah 46:4 on my heart all week as well:
“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”
I can’t handle control of my own life. When I fuel myself, I run dry. He is always faithful though, and He longs to carry us, to provide for us, to let His love be our fuel. He is our sustainer, if only we would tear down the veils we put up.
The art of surrender requires humility. But it is only by surrender that we enter His presence and find peace, rest, and truth. I pray that I am steadfast in finding my treasure in Him and His love. I pray against being prideful and trying to protect my sense of security or identity. I pray against being idol-making with worry, fear, and stress in attempting to live up to the expectations of others. I pray that I would see God for all that He is in comparison to my feeble, limited perception of my life. I pray that I would not “love my life to death”, but rather overcome, “by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of [my] testimony” (Rev. 12:11). He is our life-Source.
You are His treasure. You have FULL access to permanently dwell in His presence. The only separation from Him comes from the things we place between. Do we grasp how PRECIOUS His presence is? Before Jesus, only one priest could enter the Holy of Holies once a year. ONCE. It took much preparation. But we can feel the Father’s sweet embrace, worship Him in the entirety of His presence, love Him wholly face to face---EVERY DAY. EVERY SECOND.
“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.”
(Hebrews 10: 19-22)
Tear down the curtains. Run with abandonment to the throne of the only One who is worthy of all your love and adoration.
