So here’s the picture in my head: God. Desperate. God desperately YEARNING for my affection, my attention, my love.
And me. Playing with mud pies.
God keeps drawing me back to this C.S. Lewis quote:
“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
Many of you read my previous blog, “My Philosophy on Relationships.” I suppose you could call this a sequel.
It’s not about finding the “right one.” It’s about finding a vibrant, captivating, adventurous love story in AND with Christ.
Lately I’ve been caught up in this fictitious mindset that once I fall in love with God and get all of these ideas He gives me sorted out, then my love story with a man will fall in place. False. I need not worry about that. I need not even entertain the thought. Why am I not captivated in my relationship with Christ? Something is obviously wrong. I am wrong.
My God is so enthralled with us, His beautiful, strong creation….He is so desperate seeking our HEARTS, our ATTENTION, our TIME. Like we search for lovers, our God searches for us. Yet we come to Him merely when we need Him, when we want Him, when He fits into our schedules. We pencil in our quiet times. We set dates and appointments.
How do you feel when you are IN LOVE with someone?
You want them desperately. You need them. You have to have them near. You think of them constantly. They bring you joy and hope and peace and security and protection and rest. You call, text, show your appreciation. You delight in him/her.
God says “Delight yourself in the Lord…and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)
Stop fixating on the desires of your heart.
Start fixating on HIM.
And then your desires will begin to align with His.
I want to be so passionately in love with the true Lover of our souls that nothing and no one else competes for my attention and devotion because He has already won me over.
And the man God eventually draws me to WILL be the same…for it is a teamwork built with the same foundation and framework that survives and THRIVES.
I can’t get this image out of my mind: God with His arms desperately outstretched toward His love, His bride, His creation. Desperate is defined as, “having a great desire for something.” The very connotation gives off a sense of risk, of a willingness to go against all odds to fight for someone or something. That’s God’s love for us. His love for you. His love for me.
Have you ever sat and truly absorbed the depth of God’s desperate love for you? How He fought to HELL and back to win the CHANCE for your heart, your life. It floors me. I find my desires so minimal and weak in the area of love when compared to the absolute purity and fight God has put into pursuing me. How could I not return my ALL?
So there it is. All laid out. Let it sink in: God is RELENTLESSLY pursuing you. And He won’t stop. He won’t relent. He is AFTER YOUR HEART.
Here we are getting messy in mud pie relationships, our lame attempts with our fleeting emotions…when the Creator of the universes wants to overflow our lives with the most perfect, romantic, pure, captivating, wild love.
We are far too easily pleased.
…He rescued me because he delighted in me. (2 Sam. 22:20)
Seek Him first. (Matthew 6:33-34)
Seek Him. He is seeking you.
And let us stop making mud pies---let us go on that holiday at the sea.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
My Philosophy on Relationships.
Especially in the collegiate season of life, I find more than ever that many of my peers seem to be seeking their “MR” and “MRS” degrees, as often joked. I.e., most people are bent on finding Mr. Right and Mrs. Right.
It drives me absolutely insane.
I feel such pressure to be in a relationship and to ‘like’ somebody, as if it would somehow fulfill me and validate me. Which is absolutely ludicrous.
This has been a very prevalent topic on my heart lately. As I’ve sought out God’s heart on this subject, this is the wisdom I’ve drawn:
A majority of relationships today are self-seeking. You aren’t usually drawn to a person because you want to serve and bless them. You are drawn to someone and how that someone makes you feel. You are drawn to a person who makes you feel good enough, strong enough, handsome/beautiful enough, able. Someone who inspires you. Nothing is wrong with that, but it is wrong that people enter relationships solely on the premise that it will validate who they are by dating this ‘someone,’ that it will fulfill the longing ache for authentic love. We wonder why the divorce rate is so high and why domestic violence abounds; why don’t we look at the HEART of the matter? It’s because very few are in relationships for pure reasons. It’s because we live in a society of instant-gratification that offers no long-term fulfillment.
We have an innate desire for relationship; it’s how God created us, to be in a magnificent relationship with Him. We have no perception of that quite often, and rather flounder about seeking that understanding and connectivity. From relationship to relationship to relationship, people are seeking that unattainable feeling, that elusive person. We approach it all wrong.
1. Find your validity and identity in a beautiful, thriving, personal relationship with God.
2. Be the type of person your ideal ‘someone’ would be attracted to.
You can’t expect to win over the man/lady of your dreams in you don’t first reassess yourself first. Are you the type of person that dreamboat would be attracted to as well? Do you even know what qualities you are seeking in another? Personally, I want someone who is patient enough to pursue me. Someone who will fight for the opportunity to be let into my precious, guarded heart. Someone who challenges me to be a better person. Someone with a servant’s heart; a man who always puts others above himself, who is humble, compassionate, and has a love that makes me constantly revaluate my own love. A man grounded and confident only in God. I want to have a relationship with a man who draws me closer to God---a man who is so in tune with our incredible Father that I literally thirst for the holy presence of my God whenever I’m with this man. A man who holds me accountable and challenges me to dream bigger, trust more and love more. A chivalrous man who gives me such respect and adoration that I am humbled by his pure intent and protection over me and my purity. A man who puts my personal joy and wellbeing above his own. A devoted man who is captivated not only by my aesthetic beauty, but my soulish beauty as well. I WILL NOT ‘DATE’ A GUY UNLESS HE IS EVERY OUNCE OF WHAT I JUST TYPED. I will only even think of dating a guy if he is more interested in God than he is in me. I want to not hold a flame to his love and devotion for God. I will settle for nothing less.
Now, in turn, am I the type of lady who will attract this type of fellow I desire?
That’s a hard question to pose. I ponder it daily.
You see, when we’re completely immersed in God’s love, we do not need to search any longer for that elusive ‘someone’ or ‘thing.’ You’re content, you’re fulfilled. So what does an earthly relationship matter? Only when God has consumed your life, your thoughts, and your desired can you ever successfully maintain any other thriving relationship.
There’s a quote that states, “A girl should be so lost in God that a guy must seek Him to find her.” I want to be so FOUND in God that a guy has to seek Him to find me. My dad, an amazing man of God who is an incredible blessing to me, always tells me that the more you have in common with someone, the more money you have in the ‘bank.’ Though opposites may attract, they don’t always last. The more your share in common with someone, the better off your relationship will be, especially in reference to your belief system and future dreams/plans/enthusiasms. I want to have a relationship with someone who I can confidently and lovingly call my best friend as well, someone who is grounded and fulfilled in God alone as I am.
I want God to be proud of me and my love story.
One of the best aspects of this whole idea is that it’s alright and even expected that we’ll make mistakes, we’ll screw up. But what’s truly lovely is that God redeems and restores EVERYTHING to be made new when we ask for it. Sure, I’ve made huge relationship mistakes in my past. I’ve learned though, and gained all of this insight from it.
It’s only when we’re passionately abandoned to the true Lover of our souls that we can ever safely trust another with our hearts. Finding the ‘right one’ takes patience, for God’s time frame isn’t like ours. We screw it all up when we think we’re in control, but it’s really only when God is leading our relationships that they are authentically vibrant and blessed. I want to be so SURE of the guy I marry, that he is indeed the man God has called me to, that it is blatantly EVIDENT that we were meant for one another. Through much prayer and assured confirmation, I will pursue a relationship eventually, whenever God has planned. I want a relationship that others admire, like “wow, they LOVE EACH OTHER so truly and passionately. They’re actually JOYFUL when they’re together. What is so different about them and their love?” I want a relationship that I can rest peacefully in, in which we never stop appreciating one another and how special and rare our relationship is.
This is just my philosophy on relationships for myself, and I most assuredly respect all of you who have different theories! This is just my take on it.
In conclusion…I will wait for my beloved.
It drives me absolutely insane.
I feel such pressure to be in a relationship and to ‘like’ somebody, as if it would somehow fulfill me and validate me. Which is absolutely ludicrous.
This has been a very prevalent topic on my heart lately. As I’ve sought out God’s heart on this subject, this is the wisdom I’ve drawn:
A majority of relationships today are self-seeking. You aren’t usually drawn to a person because you want to serve and bless them. You are drawn to someone and how that someone makes you feel. You are drawn to a person who makes you feel good enough, strong enough, handsome/beautiful enough, able. Someone who inspires you. Nothing is wrong with that, but it is wrong that people enter relationships solely on the premise that it will validate who they are by dating this ‘someone,’ that it will fulfill the longing ache for authentic love. We wonder why the divorce rate is so high and why domestic violence abounds; why don’t we look at the HEART of the matter? It’s because very few are in relationships for pure reasons. It’s because we live in a society of instant-gratification that offers no long-term fulfillment.
We have an innate desire for relationship; it’s how God created us, to be in a magnificent relationship with Him. We have no perception of that quite often, and rather flounder about seeking that understanding and connectivity. From relationship to relationship to relationship, people are seeking that unattainable feeling, that elusive person. We approach it all wrong.
1. Find your validity and identity in a beautiful, thriving, personal relationship with God.
2. Be the type of person your ideal ‘someone’ would be attracted to.
You can’t expect to win over the man/lady of your dreams in you don’t first reassess yourself first. Are you the type of person that dreamboat would be attracted to as well? Do you even know what qualities you are seeking in another? Personally, I want someone who is patient enough to pursue me. Someone who will fight for the opportunity to be let into my precious, guarded heart. Someone who challenges me to be a better person. Someone with a servant’s heart; a man who always puts others above himself, who is humble, compassionate, and has a love that makes me constantly revaluate my own love. A man grounded and confident only in God. I want to have a relationship with a man who draws me closer to God---a man who is so in tune with our incredible Father that I literally thirst for the holy presence of my God whenever I’m with this man. A man who holds me accountable and challenges me to dream bigger, trust more and love more. A chivalrous man who gives me such respect and adoration that I am humbled by his pure intent and protection over me and my purity. A man who puts my personal joy and wellbeing above his own. A devoted man who is captivated not only by my aesthetic beauty, but my soulish beauty as well. I WILL NOT ‘DATE’ A GUY UNLESS HE IS EVERY OUNCE OF WHAT I JUST TYPED. I will only even think of dating a guy if he is more interested in God than he is in me. I want to not hold a flame to his love and devotion for God. I will settle for nothing less.
Now, in turn, am I the type of lady who will attract this type of fellow I desire?
That’s a hard question to pose. I ponder it daily.
You see, when we’re completely immersed in God’s love, we do not need to search any longer for that elusive ‘someone’ or ‘thing.’ You’re content, you’re fulfilled. So what does an earthly relationship matter? Only when God has consumed your life, your thoughts, and your desired can you ever successfully maintain any other thriving relationship.
There’s a quote that states, “A girl should be so lost in God that a guy must seek Him to find her.” I want to be so FOUND in God that a guy has to seek Him to find me. My dad, an amazing man of God who is an incredible blessing to me, always tells me that the more you have in common with someone, the more money you have in the ‘bank.’ Though opposites may attract, they don’t always last. The more your share in common with someone, the better off your relationship will be, especially in reference to your belief system and future dreams/plans/enthusiasms. I want to have a relationship with someone who I can confidently and lovingly call my best friend as well, someone who is grounded and fulfilled in God alone as I am.
I want God to be proud of me and my love story.
One of the best aspects of this whole idea is that it’s alright and even expected that we’ll make mistakes, we’ll screw up. But what’s truly lovely is that God redeems and restores EVERYTHING to be made new when we ask for it. Sure, I’ve made huge relationship mistakes in my past. I’ve learned though, and gained all of this insight from it.
It’s only when we’re passionately abandoned to the true Lover of our souls that we can ever safely trust another with our hearts. Finding the ‘right one’ takes patience, for God’s time frame isn’t like ours. We screw it all up when we think we’re in control, but it’s really only when God is leading our relationships that they are authentically vibrant and blessed. I want to be so SURE of the guy I marry, that he is indeed the man God has called me to, that it is blatantly EVIDENT that we were meant for one another. Through much prayer and assured confirmation, I will pursue a relationship eventually, whenever God has planned. I want a relationship that others admire, like “wow, they LOVE EACH OTHER so truly and passionately. They’re actually JOYFUL when they’re together. What is so different about them and their love?” I want a relationship that I can rest peacefully in, in which we never stop appreciating one another and how special and rare our relationship is.
This is just my philosophy on relationships for myself, and I most assuredly respect all of you who have different theories! This is just my take on it.
In conclusion…I will wait for my beloved.
My Credo.
This is what I shall do: Live life abundantly, love with my whole heart, exude joy, walk with purpose and passion, believe and persevere when the world tells me to give up, stretch myself out of my comfort zone, dream without limits, speak out for those who have lost their voices, see each person I encounter through the eyes of God, appreciate each day, count my blessings instead of my losses, forgive with grace, see the lessons in mistakes, develop authentic relationships, seek fulfillment through facilitating renewal in others and not in the “American Dream,” and lead a revolution of hope.
I will walk in Truth through a world of fiction. :)
I will walk in Truth through a world of fiction. :)
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