(this is something I wrote last week but forgot to post...enjoy. :)
Let’s talk about desire.
As I am preparing to speak to high school girls about the search for identity, relationships, and pursuing God, I am reminded of the eternal desire in our hearts for Romance…for a validation that yes, we are worthy of being pursued, we are beautiful and captivating, and yes, we are worthy of noble love.
At any stage of life, there is the “comparison game.” Satan plagues our minds with messages of unworthiness, guilt, shame, and fear. Satan hates and opposes the fact that as men and women, we represent the strength and life-giving beauty of our awesome Father.
Thus comes the misconstrued perception of desire.
You see, we have the lesser desires…desires numbed by addiction, apathy, hiding. We have great desires, usually pursued through relationships, work, and even ministry. And then we encounter our greatest desire, which is only filled by God alone. All desires approached below our greatest desire point directly to that greatest desire---for our purpose and love is found in God alone.
In reference to high school girls (and even college ladies and beyond), I must say something that drove me crazy was when girls would say, “Who do you like? Well you have to like SOMEONE.” I strictly disagreed with this statement until I truly though about it. Yes, you must direct your affections towards someone. You are created so. The problem therein lies---are your affections reflecting your purest desires? Your affections are meant for GOD first and foremost! Something I pray about daily is the direction of my emotions and affections. If my affections are not honoring God and keeping Him first in my heart, I am sure to know of it by testing it. Lately I have been praying, “Father God, take these emotions away if they are not from You and if these do not bring You glory.”
In our society of instant gratification, we long for the instantaneous results yet never receive the long-term fulfillment. Why do so many relationships fail, and fail miserably? Because our validation is not coming from the One who made us valid in the first place.
We have failed to remember that anything worth having is worth waiting for. I am so disenchanted with modern relationships. Too often relationships are founded on feelings rather than authentic commitment. Too often relationships are flippant pursuits for value and worth; but if we are not secure in who we are as children of the King and in God’s validation, we will become parasitic members of a relationship, offering nothing and seeking a fleeting, unattainable sense of purpose not available in human form.
It is so vital to the health of your spirit and to the health of your future relationship with your beloved that you seek out your identity in God. Only He can ever answer your heart’s question with the affirmation you so desire. You must have vision and the tenacity to see that only when you are captivating in a Romance with Christ can you ever freely offer your strength and beauty to another. It is only when you have the discernment of God in you by drawing near to His heart that you can confidently embark into a relationship with another.
My life has been completely transformed since the moment I honestly came to our Father with all of my desire and need, laying it all down in obedience. When I said, “Abba, I want what YOU want for me! Take away anything in my life that does not align with Your holy, lovely, perfect plan for my life,” He met me there and continues to hold me in His hands, in His divine and awesome love. It takes much hard word and dedication to allow Him to work in and through our wounds and yearnings, but when He does, it is SO authentically FULFILLING! It is then that our desires finally align with His---and the true adventure begins.
My desire now is to relentlessly pursue holiness and discernment in my life; to lead a life of love that brings healing and restoration to those who can’t comprehend the depth of the goodness of God. I don’t want any thing or any relationship in my midst unless it is pure and righteous and honorable. Satan opposed this truth---that God offers unconditional joy and immearsurable love, that in and through Jesus we are offered ABUNDANT and thriving life, and abundant and thriving relationships. We must fight to attain and maintain such precious connections, for the “enemy prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
Trust in God’s providence and goodness. Pursue Him relentlessly. Let Him romance you. Be validated and found in His redemptive grace. Know that God says, “I am enough for you until I decide to give you someone who gives you more of Me.”
Sit in desire and WAIT for Him to fill it!!!
God will meet you and your desires wherever you are at. And then, rest! Know that He will provide. Seek Him continuously.
And a last note on relationships, as I have been seeking God’s heart on the issue…when it does come time for God to lead you into a relationship with someone, be careful to discern much about them. As a preliminary focus, God has shown me qualities that are mandatory for me to find in a man. He has also helped me to create a list of commitments I am making as well when it comes to being a woman of God, a beautiful, captivating, encourager and journey partner.
My Beloved:
Will have the utmost integrity.
Will be humble yet confident in the man God created him to be.
Will guard my emotions, purity, and wellbeing with all that he is, as well as guard his own purity and emotions.
Will be the leader of our relationship and be careful and wise to keep our teamwork focused on God and his call for out lives.
Will stand out from the crowd with his leadership, joy, love, etc. People will notice the fruits of the Spirit vibrantly shining in and through his life.
Will set an example of righteousness, chivalry, respect, strength, integrity, love, joy, peace, and compassion.
Will delight in me as God delights in His bride, the church.
Will patiently pursue me.
Will have a call from God aligned with mine.
Will have a foundation firmly built upon the Rock.
Will learn from his mistakes and maintain a focus solely on his God.
Will be attentive, sensitive, and aware of potential stumbling blocks and obstacles, and will seek God in all things.
Will be able to discuss politics, football, and God with my dad. My dad will find no reasons to doubt in My Beloved’s character, and will be like a best friend and father to him.
Will earn the approval of my dad and my best friend Matt.
Will be organized as I am and clean as well.
Will be faithful and trusting of God’s might, power, and call, but logical as well.
Will be wise.
Will be skilled with conflict resolution; he will address issues before they become bigger problems.
Will be dependable. I know I can rely and trust in him to come through for me.
Will not put himself in compromising or tempting situations.
Will be resourceful.
Will relentlessly pursue holiness.
Will be discerning.
Will exude encouragement and support.
Will be strong yet have a gentle spirit as well.
Will exude joy and purposefulness, an authentic charisma of one anointed in the Holy Spirit.
As his beloved:
My identity and validation is found in Christ alone. He is my Savior, Redeemer, Romancer, and All-in-All.
I will keep my studies/call first and foremost. I will make sure he keeps his studies/call first as well.
I will put our individual relationships with God as our number one priorities. NOTHING will come in the way. I will not spend time with him until we have both sought God.
I will guard and protect his purity. I will not be a stumbling block to him.
I will encourage him, respect him, and use my words only to lovingly build him up.
My joy will ALWAYS remain in my God, and not in my man. My joy in God will radiate into the life of my man. And vice versa.
I will not put myself in compromising/tempting situations.
I will have my foundation firmly built upon the Rock.
I will learn from my mistakes and maintain my focus solely on God.
I will be attentive, sensitive, and aware of potential stumbling blocks and obstacles, and will seek God in all things.
I will relentlessly pursue holiness.
This most assuredly does not encapsulate all of the wisdom I know God wants to speak into our lives, but it is what He has been speaking to me lately.
My hope is that YOU will find the authentic, captivating healing and freedom offered in the loving arms of our God. Seek Him with your whole heart, and you will find Him with your whole heart.
I promise, it’s the greatest adventure. Fight for it. :)
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