Tear down your curtains. Let the Light shine in.

God is creative with getting my attention.

This past Friday night I was sitting in a friend’s room when the curtain above his window fell…on top of me.  I disregarded it as unfortunate.  Then a few days later, while I sat on my bed one afternoon studying, my curtain hooks came undone, sending my curtain rod down with a fierce thud. Light gloriously pierced into the dim lighting of my room.  I let out a shriek from the shock of it.   As I was telling another one of my friends about it, she reminded me that she had been trying to talk with me about a song she has been writing about the veil being torn when Jesus died on the cross. 

I’d been so caught up in my schedule and stress that I wasn’t taking time to listen to God’s gentle---or rather, abrupt---whispers surrounding me. 

I sat in my room for a while staring at my massive, exposed window that is typically softened by a plum curtain.  What was He trying to tell me?    As I reflected on Jesus and the veil being torn, He started to work on my heart.

So often we put up veils, or curtains, in our relationship with God.  Though the true veil is actually torn and we have full access to God’s presence because of Jesus, many of us resurrect veils that in turn separate us from experiencing His fullness.  Whether that be pride, stress, relationships, work, anger, our sense of comfort an security, or whatever---the veils we put up flaunt a message that they are more important, more pressing, than pursuing the heart of God and His Kingdom.  I relate to this.  As I looked at the exposed glass with radiant light streaming in, I went to look at it more closely.  It was dusty, and there were dead bugs that had been in the panes for probably fifty years.  I took some time to clean my window.  It shined more brilliantly than ever.  Our relationships with God are like that.  Sometimes we have to tear down the curtains we put up to see what lies behind it, the issues that keep us from trusting His character and will wholly.  When we let down our will and our control, we can work with God to root out the dust and dead bugs of our heart.  When this is accomplished, His glory can be seen in and upon us.  We become pure vessels for Him to dwell in.  We attune ourselves to His voice, His leading.  When we seek His presence, He ALWAYS shows up. 

Here’s the thing that never ceases to astound me.  God sees treasure in our dirty windows and broken vessels.  He pursues us, seeking us out, even when it means He has to tear down our curtains…literally and spiritually.  WE are His treasure, in any state we’re in.   Luke 12: 34-35 says that, “Where your treasure is your heart will be also.”  God’s heart is with US because WE are His treasure.  Where is your treasure?  Where is your heart?  Seriously examine yourself here.  I love Jesus, of course, but lately my treasure has been my schoolwork, my relationships, my sense of security.  That’s where my heart has been.  But I am God’s treasure, and He pulled my back into my only eternal treasure---my relationship with Him, my time in His presence, giving Him full authority and control over and in my life. 

He’s been putting Isaiah 46:4 on my heart all week as well:

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

I can’t handle control of my own life.  When I fuel myself, I run dry.  He is always faithful though, and He longs to carry us, to provide for us, to let His love be our fuel.  He is our sustainer, if only we would tear down the veils we put up. 

The art of surrender requires humility.  But it is only by surrender that we enter His presence and find peace, rest, and truth.  I pray that I am steadfast in finding my treasure in Him and His love.  I pray against being prideful and trying to protect my sense of security or identity.  I pray against being idol-making with worry, fear, and stress in attempting to live up to the expectations of others.  I pray that I would see God for all that He is in comparison to my feeble, limited perception of my life.  I pray that I would not “love my life to death”, but rather overcome, “by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of [my] testimony” (Rev. 12:11).    He is our life-Source. 

You are His treasure.  You have FULL access to permanently dwell in His presence.  The only separation from Him comes from the things we place between.  Do we grasp how PRECIOUS His presence is?  Before Jesus, only one priest could enter the Holy of Holies once a year.  ONCE.   It took much preparation.  But we can feel the Father’s sweet embrace, worship Him in the entirety of His presence, love Him wholly face to face---EVERY DAY.  EVERY SECOND.

“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.” 

(Hebrews 10: 19-22)

Tear down the curtains.  Run with abandonment to the throne of the only One who is worthy of all your love and adoration.  

Finding Our Focus.

Another year of college begins for many of us, and I’m drawn back to a topic I wrote about this time last year, but with new perspective.  As we embark on this new chapter, I challenge you, and I challenge myself with these words. 

A.W. Tozer said, “Outside of the will of God, there's nothing I want, and in the will of God there's nothing I fear." Let that marinate for a moment.  The will of God is perfect.  It’s already anointed and blessed.  When we’re inside of God’s will, there is nothing to fear in any aspect of our lives.   Are our wills in conflict with His perfect will for our lives?  Are we more concerned with pursuing His will or ours?

Especially as college students, we’re like 3 year olds when it comes to relationships most of the time…all we tend to see is how shiny and attractive the idea of possessing a relationship would be, without realizing that it’s a tool that can injure us unless we have the maturity and wisdom to properly handle it.  What most fail to recognize is that they may not be spiritually ready for a relationship.

This is the analogy God has given me:  relationships are like a set of power tools.  In the Kingdom of God, relationships, when orchestrated and centered by God, can be used to build incredible things and serve as vessels of God’s glory.  Here’s the catch though---YOU WOULDN’T GIVE POWER TOOLS TO A 3-YEAR-OLD.

We approach it from the wrong perspective: ours. 

Let’s view this from God’s perspective.  Relationships are gifts, tools, which can be used to bless one another and further God’s Kingdom.  And God desires to give us good gifts; in Matthew 7:11 we find that, “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give GOOD things to those who ask Him!”  He wants to give us good gifts, but only if He knows that He can trust us with those gifts.  And personally, I don’t want that gift, especially the gift of a relationship, unless I know He can say to me, “Megan, I trust you; I know your devotion for me is consecrated and unwavering in love.  I’m so proud of what a pure vessel of My light, love and truth that you are.  I want to bless you with this gift, because I know you will treat it as the tool it is and use it to bring Me glory and to further My kingdom.  I entrust this relationship to you and give it My blessing.” 

And honestly, at this point in my life, I want to be more concerned with the hundreds walking around me every day that remain in bondage and torment than with who I may be impressing or attracting.  I want my heart to break for the things that break God’s heart.  I want to burn for what God is passionate about; seeing people set free, made new, restored, filled with joy, transformed by Love.  Just today, the first day of classes, I sat behind a guy who wore a shirt that said, “Change is the only constant.”  How many around us believe this?  GOD is the only constant!  JESUS is peace! And hope! And love! And joy! And truth! 

Sometimes I think we’d rather be known as someone’s significant other, or as a person in a position of authority/power, or as an individual of much talent and fame, rather than known as God’s child, as a follower of Jesus, as a lover of the King.  I’m learning that ultimately, I want my life to be PDA for God, a public display of abandoned affection and worship to the only One who is worthy. 

I want to be known for encountering the authentic love and presence of God.  Just the other night I heard a humble yet wise freshman guy say, “If I go a few days without worshiping Him, my whole world starts to fall apart.”  Are we that intimate with the Lord that we are absolutely crippled apart from Him?  That our souls are left unsatisfied by anything less that His presence and His Word?  Is He our Strength, our Hiding Place, our All-in-All? 

It just makes me sad to see so many students who believe in God settle for less than all of God’s majesty, the fullness of His will and desires for us…we too often close our hands around what we deem to be the epitome of fulfillment, only to find that living in a lifestyle of open hands outstretched to the Father is always the choice of true blessing.

For when we pursue God’s heart and all His heart burns for, we find that we are in His will, and His blessings and gifts always follow in time. 

I challenge you, and I challenge myself, to not necessarily put our desires on the backburner, but to surrender them wholly and lovingly at the feet of Him whose love and will for us will fulfill every one of our desires in the appointed time.  May we fix our eyes on Jesus and all He has His eyes fixed upon.   May we pour our heart’s perfume, love, and worship upon the One who eternally satisfies.  And may we embody His heart to each person we encounter.   

“I want to waste it all on You,

I want to pour my heart’s perfume.

I don’t care if I’m called a fool,

I want to waste it all on You.”

~Chris McClarney, ‘Waste It All.’

“I love You, Lord and I lift my voice to worship You 

O my soul, rejoice.

 Take joy my King in what You hear;

 May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.”

~hymn, ‘I Love You Lord”

notes from my July //oneighty message: the character of God's heart for you.

A few weeks ago I had the privilege to speak to 250 jr. high and high school students about the love and character of God, and His heart for all of us.   Before I continue, let me preface: the dream of God’s heart is for us to love Him with all of our hearts, souls, minds, and strength.  It’s the FIRST commandment.  But think about it; He desires voluntary lovers, affection children who worship Him with all of their adoration and surrender, who know and trust His character.  He desires lovers who choose to die to their sin and choose the abundant life He offers through Jesus…which includes the beauty of being made new, of joy, of restoration, of hope, of healing, of infinite Love. 

Here’s the thing---Satan wants you to believe lies about the character of God.

You don’t think you believe any lies about the character of God?  Read on.  These are lies even I have believed subconsciously at times.

LIES: You have to earn God’s approval and love.  There are requirements to meet.   You have to fulfill certain steps to please God.  A relationship with God is just about being saved from hell for eternity.  God will make bad things happen in your life to teach you a lesson.  God’s love is relative and behavior-based.  If you sin, it’s a mark against you. 

TRUTH:  God’s desire is FOR you not against you.  That’s why He set up things to work in your favor through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.  Jesus said we should approach God as “Father.”  Jesus said to “Abide in My love” (John 15:9).  God is NOT into torment---He loves you with a perfect love, and perfect Love casts out all fear.  It’s by His grace, love, and goodness that when bad things happen that He works all things together for our good.  As my pastor says, God came to DESTROY not to employ the works of darkness.  His heart for you is goodness (Jer. 29:11).  Satan wants to lead you to guilt, shame, fear, isolation, condemnation….Father God speaks life, joy, peace, clarity, freedom, and sometimes conviction, but hope in that.  Jesus came that we might have abundant life in God.  If you sin or make mistakes, which you will still do even if you’ve given your heart to God and are ‘saved,’ God won’t love you any less when you mess up.  Jesus’ blood covers ALL of your sins---yesterday, today, and forever!  Your failures and shortcomings don’t define you, God does.  Don’t grade yourself differently than God does.  It’s not your job to fix yourself---He is the Healer, and we’re just responsible for being obedient and surrendering to Him, because we can trust Him.  You are never too far gone.  He’s the God of the entire universe, and He is far greater than our weakness.  He is the strength in our weakness. 

One of my dear friends went running a few months ago.  As she ran, she crossed paths with a guy around 20 years old.  God spoke to her and said, “He’s having problems with his parents and is feeling hopeless and alone.  Go pray with him.”  She wasn’t sure if it was God speaking to her, so she prayed, “God, if that’s You, bring me across his path again.”  A few minutes later, she ran by him.  She finally got up the nerve to track this guy down and tell him what the Lord had just told her.  He started to weep in her arms and she prayed with him.  THAT is the heart of God.  He pursues you too, with the same desire---to let you know He cares and desires to see you made whole, complete with His joy. 

My old roommate has had knee problems for a few years. Someone approached her this summer and said that God hurts when she hurts, and He wants to make her well.  This person prayed over her knees, and she told me that she took her first pain-free steps in 3 years.  THAT is the heart of God.  He speaks healing and life to those who choose to embrace His offer. 

At the beginning of my freshman year of college, I bought a poster, which is a photograph of the silhouette of a couple in Italy.  Sitting in my room alone one night, I poured out my frustration to God of how no human relationship of any sort will ever fulfill.  He then revealed His character to me, as I covered the poster with these truths:

“You will fill me with joy in Your presence.” Psalm 16:11

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph. 3:17

“Beauty for ashes, joy for mourning…” Isaiah 61:3

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with Me.  See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.  Flowers appear upon the earth; the season of singing has come!”  Song of Songs 2:10-12

“I am He who comforts you.”  Isaiah 51: 12

“Then He who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’  And He said to me, ‘Write, for these words are true and faithful.’”  Rev. 21:5

“My Lovingkindness and my Fortress, my High Tower and my Deliverer, my Shield and the One in Whom I take refuge.”  Psalm 144:2

“As the Father loved me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.”  John 15:9

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!  I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait on Him.’  The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the ones who seek Him.”  Lam. 3:22-25

“He rescued me because He delighted in me.”  Psalm 18:19

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your hunger with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”  Psalm 103:2-5

“Love never fails.”  1 Cor. 13:8

“I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”  Matt. 28:20

Jesus paid in full for you.  God waits for you to seek Him, and the dream of His heart is for you to love Him. 

I can’t use eloquent words or captivating stories to change your heart, or life, or even begin to grasp where you are at, you who read this.  The Holy Spirit does all the work, and God gets all the praise.  Please know that He has you reading this for a purpose though.  And He loves you with an everlasting Love.

“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'”  Acts 17:26-28

This very moment is a determined time.  What will you do with it, oh precious child?  You are His desire…and your love is the dream of His heart.

Furious Love.

The other night I had a beautiful opportunity to watch the Furious Love documentary with some wonderful women of the Lord.  If you haven’t seen it, you should check it out:

http://www.furiouslovethemovie.com/

This truly challenged me to delve further into the truth of what Jesus’ love looks like, what ministry is.  The Church has become great at gathering money, going on a mission trip once a year or so, and embracing roles of ‘ministry.’  While I’m not condemning these things, I do believe the heart of the Gospel message goes so much deeper than this.  Heidi Baker says, “Ministry, however, is simply about loving the person in front of you.  It’s about stopping for the one and being the very fragrance of Jesus to a lost and dying world...ministry is simply you loving like Jesus.” I wonder what the world would look like if the Church truly stopped all of the judging and saving face; thought that may sound harsh, I always recall what Mother Teresa said: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” 

Tonight I had such an opportunity to decide whether to love or to judge.  After going out to a late dinner, some new friends and I returned to campus around midnight.  A homeless man came asking for money to buy medicines; after many brutal assaults, he was left with damaged lungs, kidneys, and spleen.  He showed us gun shot scars, knife scars, and even deeper---spiritual scars.  We began to pray over him and God overwhelmed me with His heart for Mike.  God’s yearning was so incredibly desperate for His child, to see him made whole, to surrender to the embrace of His Father’s arms, to see the chains of bondage fall off as His Spirit surrounded him.  I hugged Mike, who to most in our society would appear to be an untouchable.  In most cases, fear rules, whispering, “He’s probably on drugs.  He’s probably a thief.  Look, he admitted to being in jail!  He’s using you.”  But no, LOVE FIGHTS BACK.  2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”  Love Himself whispers with conviction and peace, “This is my son, whom I love.  I died and rose again that he might have abundant life.  Love him as I do, hold him physically as I do spiritually, speak my Truth into his spirit.  He’s being tormented, and I have called him to a life of freedom and relationship with me.  Be vessels of my Love, pour into Him.  I am mighty to save!  I am Jehovah Jireh!  I am Abba, sweet Abba.  Love him, for I long to see him come to Me and be made new, be made whole.” 

Mother Teresa also said, “Jesus found me and chose me.  A strong vocation is based on being possessed by Christ.  He is the Life that I want to live.  He is the Light that I want to radiate.  He is the Love with which I want to love.  He is the Joy that I want to share.  He is the Peace that I want to sow.  Jesus is everything to me.  Without Him, I can do nothing.”  When we come to an understanding of God’s love for us, we cannot help but want to embody that Love and exude it to those we encounter.  The very Spirit of Love dwells within us.  Bob Goff said, “Love isn’t as risky as apathy.”  When we truly begin to abide in the depths of God’s heart and in the fullness of His love, apathy won’t even be in our vocabulary.  Love will be the very overflow of our hearts.

 Something that truly struck me in Furious Love was that Darren Wilson spoke of not having an agenda to ‘convert’ someone, but simply to love them.  Imagine if Jesus had said to those whom He healed, “I’ll heal you, but only if you repent and receive God first.” No, Jesus’ love is the very vehicle by which people are drawn into the love of God.  Shane Claiborne sums it up perfectly: "But what had lasting significance were not the miracles themselves but Jesus' love. Jesus raised his friend Lazarus from the dead, and a few years later, Lazarus died again. Jesus healed the sick, but eventually caught some other disease. He fed the ten thousands, and the next day they were hungry again. But we remember his love. It wasn't that Jesus healed a leper but that he touched a leper, because no one touched lepers."  Jesus sought out the untouchables of society, those who were lost and hurting and broken and messy.  He rebuked the spirit of religion and the spirit of apathy.  He taught radical love, extravagant sacrifice, and merciful understanding. 

I’m sure Mike valued our money, food, and drink, but I know what really impacted him was Christ’s love.  Why?  Because as Mike walked away from us, he said, “I’m going to go with a spirit of joy, because 5 people stopped and cared.  God I hope they always care for me.”  Wake up, Body---that’s what the world is crying to us!  CARE!  LOVE!  1 John 2:6 says, “He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.”  God is love.  Jesus in the manifestation of God’s love. 

Love fights back.

Love wins.

“But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.  Then He said to His disciples, ‘The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few.  Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.’”  Matthew 9:36-38

“And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.”  Ephesians 5:2

There is no such thing as a lukewarm Lover.

ALL things new.

One year ago, actually June 30 to be specific, I broke my neck.

I sometimes forget that.

You see, I love a God who makes all things new, who trades ashes for beauty.  When my doctor came in after my MRI last year, he was prepared to rush me to another hospital in a bigger city for emergency surgery.  We prayed.  An hour later, they decided to wait on surgery and send me to get checked out by a specialist.  God’s sweet mercies had only just begun.

This is the injury I sustained (from a trampoline accident, ha): between my C5 and C6 vertebrae, the disc had ruptured, completely obliterated, against my spinal cord, where fluid was beginning to gather.  My C5, C6, and C7 vertebrae had somehow been smashed upon one another as well.  What’s most dangerous about this was the pressure on my spinal cord; I could’ve very well been paralyzed for life if I had slightly moved wrong.

What makes the fact that I can walk today so incredible is that I slept on my broken neck an entire night before going to get it checked out.  I, in all reality, should have and could have very easily been paralyzed after breaking my neck and then going to bed, merely thinking I threw out my neck horribly. 

I spent the majority of last summer confined on my couch in a neck brace, in the physical therapy center, and in appointments and procedures with my specialist in St. Louis.  There were days I would cry to God in fear that I wouldn’t get to go to college in time, that I would never lose the pain that rendered me physically useless. 

God, in all His goodness, taught me an important lesson: He is in control, He is more powerful than any situation I could ever encounter, and He loves to display His love in making our brokenness into a miracle.  I should have been in a neck brace for months; I was out of it in a month and a half.  The pain that plagued my damaged nerves, muscles, and spine continued into the first few months of college; one night I got prayer, and I didn’t take a pill for the pain ever again after that night.  I had been taking a pill every night for three months by that point for the immense pain.

Today it dawned on me, as I dashed across the street in Hillsboro Village, how incredibly blessed I am to be here. Right now.  How a year ago I cried myself to sleep, wondering if I would ever get this precious opportunity to move to Nashville and pursue what God has put on my heart.   Most people who sustain the injury I did are laid up for a year or so, with many struggles and issues.  I guess the reason I’m writing this blog is to remind myself of that especially.  God is SO FAITHFUL to the cries of our heart; He always knows what is best, He always provides.  Jehovah Jireh has a plan and purpose for my life.

Praise You, God, for Your love, for, as it says in the book of Hosea, transforming my trouble into hope, my mess into a message, and my mourning into joy.  Praise You, worthy Father, for Your everlasting love.  You are so faithful, so infinite, so GOOD.  I love You, and I pray that I will use every door You open for me to bring You glory. in Jesus name, Amen.

“I will give her her vineyards from there, and the Valley of Achor (trouble) as a door of hope; She shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, as in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.”      (Hosea 2:15)

“Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”  (Rev. 21:5)

Abide.

I’ve been really drawn to the book of 1 John lately, and it’s incredible how many times the Apostle John uses the word “abide.”   Abide means “to continue in a place; to remain stable or in a fixed state.”  Some definitions even add, “to wait for.”  It’s interesting, I always thought that abide meant, “to remain in.”  But these aforementioned definitions obviously connote something much deeper.  Abiding in Christ requires complete trust; no fear, no striving.  1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.  But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” 

When we abide in Christ, we gain a sense of security.  When we abide, we trust and know the intimate character of God; He is “God with us,” Immanuel.  He is our provider, our Redeemer, our Strength, our Peace.  We know that He is for us.  He protects us.  He knows the best plan for our lives, and He uses all things together for our good.  He has our best interests at heart.  He loves us with an everlasting love. 

Sounds incredible, right?  It is!  But why is it often difficult “to wait for” the Lord? 

Fear. And striving.

Let’s start with striving.  This comes from not understanding God’s character as our Father.  Many have this idea of standards, that God requires a certain level of work before we’re good enough to earn more of Him.  We sometimes fear that we’ll never be as spiritually mature as those around us.  Or, in another direction, we strive to make God cooperate with our own desires.  Too frequently Christians say, “Hey Lord, will you please bless my will?  I think I know better than You.”  Here’s the thing:  if we’re abiding in Christ and His will, it’s ALREADY blessed.  Abiding means sacrificing our comfort zones and false securities for the only sense of security that will ever produce Life in us: abiding in Christ.

I believe that if we truly, deeply sought out the heart of God, none of us could help but trust Him and follow Him wholeheartedly.  We wouldn’t fear that He doesn’t desire us or fear that He’s a wrathful, angry Lord who can never be satisfied.  The other night during worship at church, I had a really sweet, tender encounter with God.  The sermon that night had been about abiding in the Vine.  When we abide in the Vine (Jesus) we get nutrients from the Source (God).  We bear fruit when we’re being filled from the Source.  It not something we have to strive for; if we’re in Christ, we simply rest and receive what we need.  We wait for the Lord, i.e. abide, to receive what He desires to give us.

The thing about abiding that drives Christians in the Western world crazy is the fact that abiding means to rest, to surrender, to wait.  To trust, and not rush.  That’s hard to digest in a society such as ours. 

As I went into worship that night, I examined my heart.  I told God that I didn’t want to come to take from Him, but to simply adore Him.  His love for me is so provident, so overwhelming, so perfect, and I just desire to know Him and be more like Him.  I set my heart on giving Him all my affections for the first time in a long time.  I told Him, “You are worthy of all my adoration and praise.  I trust You.  I rest in You.  Let my heart and life be pleasing to You.”  As I did so, I sensed His presence behind me.  I had this vision of Him putting a crown/anointing of leadership on my head, but I drew back, questioning Him.  “Father, I’m not ready, my heart is barely in a place that gives You the worship You deserve.  Why would you give this to me?  I’m not ready yet, I need more of You.”  His response astounded me: “Your heart is fully set on Me and your hands are fully open to Me and My will; this is the posture of a heart that I can work through.”    After all of my striving and trying to earn His blessing, I realized something that seems like such an elementary truth…God doesn’t need our works.  He desires our hearts.  Our love.  Isn’t the first commandment to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, all our minds, all our souls, and all our strength?

God responded to my questioning with this: “As long as you keep this posture of seeking, trusting, and loving Me, I will work in and through you.” 

Think of it this way:  healthy relationships are comprised of desiring the other person’s good above our own, of adoration and encouragement, of correcting and challenging, of delighting in the other person’s joy, etc.  This is what our relationship with God should look like.  We must abide in Christ.

Do you feel like you’re not really sure of the character of God? Do you desire to really know His heart toward you?

Abide.

Psalm 125: 1 says, “Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever.”

John 15:5 says, “I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”

John 15:9 says, “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.”

1 John 4:16 says, “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”

I feel like I’m only scratching the surface on this topic of abiding…let’s go in for the depths of Him, brothers and sisters.

hunger, release, and peace.

Just as what you consume affects your wellbeing, what you are filling your spirit with affects your very soul. It’s only human that we hunger and thirst spiritually for fulfillment, for approval, for love. And even if you are already a “Christian,” how desperately do we direct our yearnings toward God? How often do we still settle on self-sufficiency rather than running with wholehearted abandonment toward the One who is always constant, always faithful, always dependable, the only satisfaction for our needy souls?

Deuteronomy 8:3 says, “He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” I’m in such a season, where God is teaching me to rid myself of self-sufficiency, of my own feeble attempts to determine my proper spiritual diet, and He is allowing me to fully feast on the very depths on His heart. It’s the most beautiful lesson, and I relate so much to Hosea 2:14, which says, “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her.” Do you feel God alluring you into the wilderness with Him? GO. So often He will tenderly call us to times of rest in Him, to simply spend our time sitting at His feet, leaning in to hear His sweet voice teach us. One of the greatest lies the enemy wants us to believe is that God delights more in our servitude than our desire for Him. How much of the body of Christ’s mentality is still that of a Martha versus a Mary (Luke 10:38-42)? He causes us to hunger and thirst to draw us gently unto Himself, the only One who can satisfy.

I love this Sue Monk Kidd quote: “Letting go is like releasing a tight spring at the core of yourself, one you’ve spent your whole life winding and maintaining. When you let go, you grow still and quiet. You learn to sit among the cornstalks and wait with God.” When I let down my defenses, my attempts at self-preservation, I just lean, I fall into the restful embrace of Christ. He whispers, “I’m in control. Trust me. I love you. I have your best interests at heart. Fix your eyes on Me and on nothing else. Run to My voice. I am Your goal, and I am the One that gives you your each breath as you run this race. I’m your Father, I relentlessly pursue you and I promise to never let you go. Hold fast to Me. Be obedient in each step I illuminate, I promise to get you home. I know your heart. Trust me; I love you wholly. I am constant.” When I let go of control, of the reigns, of the steering wheel, and cry out for God to fill me and feed me with what He knows I need, peace comes.

In Psalm 63:1, David cries out, “O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” David was most assuredly a man after God’s own heart. His life was a magnificent display of the grace, love, and power of God. Why? Because David recognized his hunger, his need, his dependence on God and God alone to sufficiently satisfy his deep spiritual hunger. In John 6:35, Jesus says, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” We have to decide to come to Jesus to be fed fully. And as Heidi Baker says, “We must press into His presence and be filled with His real fresh food every day or we will grow stale.” We will be spiritually malnourished if we don’t keep seeking Him daily. As Smith Wigglesworth stated, "If you are in the same place today as you were yesterday, you are a backslider." There is no end to the depth of God, of the love of Christ; there is no reason why we should not be desperate for more and more of Him.

God is the Creator of the universe, the Love of our souls---we should all delight in the fact that we have intimate access to relationship with Him, just as Smith Wigglesworth did. He said that every morning, “I jump out of bed! I dance before the Lord for at least 10 to 12 minutes - high speed dancing. I jump up and down and run around my room telling God how great he is, how wonderful He is, how glad I am to be associated with Him and to be His child." I want to be so full by feasting on God’s presence and Word that I overflow with thanksgiving and love for Him; how often do I leave Him lower on my list of affections. He is worthy of all my devotion, all my affection, all my love, all my dependence, all my praise and all my heart.

Don’t grow stagnant.

Don’t settle.

Don’t dim.

Catapult yourself into His arms. Matthew 7:7-8 says, “"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” God delights in revealing Himself to us, to providing for us, and He gives good and gracious gifts of Himself to those who ask. Hunger is an escort, as Misty Edwards sings, to the deeper things of God. It is meant to allure us to Him. Blessed are you who hunger and thirst, for you will be filled. Be hungry. Daily. Turn to Him. “Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

Let go.

Lean in. 

He’s right here. He always is.